Happy Halloween!

I know we didn't go anywhere and she was only seen by me, Clint, Dad, and Jed... and she was only dressed up for maybe a total of 7 minutes but she was the cutest rhinestone cowgirl I've ever seen! Oh man she's a cute one and she's got Grandpa Blair wrapped around her finger!

Happy Halloween surprise for ME!!

Because of a small co-op-trucking-something-or-other-mix-up this week, Jed and Dad came to visit me!! I was super surprised! D has had so much fun playing with Grandpa Blair.. I LOVE IT!!!

They had to drive through the night so Jed was pooped!

Rice Cereal

We started rice cereal last Monday! She did ok with it. She made a few faces at first but then realized the spoon is fun to chew on so she liked it. The most amazing part was how well she slept that night! We put her down at 9, she woke up for about 10 minutes at 11 and then slept until 645! I LOVE rice cereal!

The Results Are In.

I finally had my blood test done. THE blood test. The same blood test that was done during my stay in the hospital 10 months ago.. and the results are in.

A little background first... The reason Darbi came early was because of early on-set preeclampsia. Most times, preeclampsia as such an early stage is often an indicator of a different or bigger problem. So the hospital perinatologists tested my blood for Antiphosopholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS). This test is a combination an anticardiolipin antibody test and a lupus anticoagulant test. When the results came back in January, I tested normal for lupus, meaning I did not have that.. which was good! But, I tested slightly positive for the other one. Because my body had a lot of crazy things going on, they thought it would be best to re-test me in April to see if the results would differ. With Darbi still in the hospital in April and then having to adjust having her home with us, I never got around to having the test done until just Wednesday.

Secretly, I'd been putting it off because of what it would mean if I really did have this syndrome.
If I tested positive again for APS, I would be at a much higher risk for blood clots, I would have to take an aspirin a day forever or give myself blood thinning shots multiple times a day, AND have a 70% chance that early on-set preeclampsia would occur again with, likely, not so wonderful results... I guess.

Basically, it would not be in my best interest, health-wise, to bear any more children. EVER. My heart just sinks in to my stomach even typing that... ugh.

If I tested negative, I would still be considered a high-risk pregnancy but I would be able to have more children! And the reason D came early would have been because it seems to be more common in first time pregnancies and I would, most likely, be able to make it to full term next time. Obviously... this was the direction I wanted to go..

So Sunday I decided it was time for me to take the plunge. I needed to have this test done. I wasn't so keen on wanting the test done but Clint and I needed to have an idea of what the repercussions would be if I were to accidentally get pregnant again. Because we're still waiting to get health insurance, I had to pay for the lab fees but it's worth it. It was nice to live in ignorance for a few months but I had to face reality. I had the test done Wednesday morning. I think I was up until 2 AM Tuesday night fretting about having it done. I was completely freaking out. With this test, everything becomes so final. Or so liberating. I was terrified. So I sucked it up and had the test done. I felt really good about it when I left the hospital lab. I didn't really think about the test until last night when I started freaking out again. I called the doctor this morning and he finally got back to me this afternoon.

I have APS. :(

He was so detailed and kind when he was unveiling the news. I have been thinking about this a lot lately so I wasn't too surprised when he told us. He also said that if I had to test positive for one, he'd rather me have this over lupus. But he also clarified what this means for me and my childbearing issues. If we decide that getting pregnant is the way to go someday, I need to meet with them before I get pregnant and we will talk about the issues at hand in greater detail to see if indeed this is the road we want to take. I would have to have blood thinning injections multiple times a day, weekly visits with the hospital's perinatology department, and mostly likely I would deliver very very early. But with a closer eye on me, maybe we could get further along in the pregnancy. However, he did say that I am at a much higher risk for multiple miscarriages, fetal growth problems, and stillborns. UGH.

The doctor called some of his colleagues up at the University hospital who specialize in APS and forwarded my file up to them.. They are putting together a registry of patients who have this syndrome and will give us some "collective wisdom" on the topic. He'll be calling me in a week or so to let me know what they say.

Clint and I have decided that we will just keep doing what we are doing.. playing with Darbi and being a simple family of 3. In a few years, if the Lord and our little babies in heaven give us a little smack in the face, we will try again. Or maybe we'll adopt. We are extremely open to both possibilities and hopefully, in time, we will have a clearer outlook on the future of our family.

We are so blessed and grateful that we were chosen to be Darbi's parents and if she is the only child we have in mortality.. I'm ok with that.

Piggy flu vaccine!

This morning we went down to the county health department and stood in line for an hour for the H1N1 piggy flu vaccine. All the signs said only children 6 months to 2 years and pregnant women could get it but we were lucky enough to also get it for Clint and I. Darbi was so good while we were there! Usually I just take Darbi to get her immunizations at the doctor by myself and it takes me about 5 minutes to calm her down after her shots. Today since Clint was there, she was an angel! The nurses were eating her up! She was being so cute! Of course, after the shot, she cried for about 5 seconds. Clint started talking to her and she started smiling!! She's such a ham! I'm taking him with me all the time now!

This was the line.. it went outside, into the parking garage, and wrapped around into the basement of the garage!

To that girl I saw at Target...

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for wearing your hospital mask!!! I saw you from afar and you put a HUGE smile on my face!! If I could write you a thank you note.. I would!! Thanks for keeping another public place free of your nasty piggy germs!! Staying home would have been better but if the trip needed to me made, I'm glad you were not ashamed to wear a mask!

At least we know it works...

Guess who's heart monitor when off for real at 2 this morning?!

That's right. Last night was rough night. Between 11 and 2 she woke up 6 times screaming. After the 5th time is when the heart monitor went off to which she woke up screaming. Sometimes it's because the leads are in the wrong spot but the strap was tight. All day yesterday, while she was napping, I noticed that she would hold her breath for a few seconds then take some super long deep breaths. She never does that. So I knew that this alarm had to be for real. After the alarm went off and I put her back to sleep, I thought to maybe check her oxygen tank. I just barely changed it so I knew it was on but once again, the knob on the side got bumped to zero. She was only without oxygen for less than a day but once I turned it up, she slept... but only until 330... then 630... then 830. Neither of us got much sleep. Just when we think the oxygen is about to be gone.. It will probably be sticking around for a while.. a long while. :(

I'm super glad that I had the monitor on. It's big, loud, and annoying and it is so easy to not want to turn it on or lug it anywhere because it hasn't gone off since MAY. I'm sure glad we had it last night though...

Bottle Drama

Last Thursday, Darbi stopped taking a bottle. I mean completely stopped. When she decided she was done with the bottle, it was with frozen milk. So we thought that maybe our frozen milk supply had gone bad.. So Friday, when it was bottle time again, I pumped some fresh milk and tried that through the bottle. Rejected. Then we tried just straight formula in water (which we've never tried before), denied!!! The only constant was the bottle and we were out of ideas. Meanwhile, she's starving and I had pumped all my leftover milk thinking it would work in the bottle! I was dry and she was screaming!!! She ended up falling asleep which was good because I could fill my milk supply up. When I would go to work, I would have to stop mid-project, go home and feed her every time she was hungry. It was hard to get into a good rhythm.

I was out of ideas and so Saturday night I called the NICU and asked for our OT because she knew Darbi really well. She wasn't in but returned my phone call Monday night. She said that this was super common in preemies but she usually saw it happen around 3 1/2 months adjusted. We're around 5 1/2 months adjusted now. She said to try mixing 4 ml of banana baby food with 2 oz of frozen mother's milk to make it similar to a banana smoothie. Tuesday marks the first day of my life where I have ever had to buy real baby food! Surprisingly, kinda weird.. anyway. We tried it Tuesday night.. she HATED it. But our OT said it might take 4-5 times before she warms up to the taste. So yesterday we went and bought a new bottle. We tried it today, along with the banana frozen milk smoothie and it worked!!! We're back to bottles again. We'll try her without the banana goodness tomorrow to see if it was the taste of the milk or the other bottle that made her mad. After we'll try fortifying and hopefully we can get this girl gaining weight again!! She has slowed her weight gain down a bit and if I let her go too long without those extra calories.. we may be in trouble.

I have to say though... I LOVE our new bottle!! It's a bit of a pain to clean and if we were doing bottles for every feeding.. I'd probably lose my mind with cleaning bottles but this one is AMAZING and I wish we had it from the second we brought her home! It is a Dr. Brown's Bottle and it has a special positive pressure vent that releases air so it feels just like she's breast feeding and makes her less gassy! So crisis averted! I won't be breastfeeding her forever!!

Anniversary #3 baby!

Happy 3rd anniversary to us! Most people buy gifts for each other on their anniversary.. Clint and I bought gifts for Darbi. How did that happen??? We started by going to Babies R Us because we needed to get another bottle because she's not taking one at all anymore. I'll detail that in another post later.. we're still experimenting and trying to figure out why. So we ended up getting her a new bottle with new nipples, a new toy, and 2 new pairs of pj's at the mall! She is so spoiled... and I don't care!!

We did go to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and treated ourselves to an appetizer on top of our regular dinner. Then we went to Target and bought ourselves an anniversary gift for each other... A coat rack!!! Oh I'm so excited about it! I don't know if Clint is as excited about the coat rack as he is about hanging the coat rack with his huge screws. Such a boy.

The "happy anniversary celebration extravaganza" started last night when I picked up The Proposal on the way home from work. We waited until D was asleep to start it and Clint fell asleep. :( So we may be watching it again tonight!

I also made Clint answer a few questions about while we were dating and also about our wedding day.. cheesy I know but I love doing questionnaires!!


#1 Where did you meet?
Clint: My apartment
Audrey: Clint's apartment. I needed a hammer and nail to hang a clock so since I was friends with his roommate, I went over there to see if he had one. He wasn't home but Clint was and he ended up following Becky and I back to my apartment.

#2 How long before you kissed?
Clint: Well, she kissed me on the first date, so about 2 weeks. Although, I'm still not sure how she waited that long! I'm a looker, ya know...
Audrey: It was the first date... *snicker*

#3 Who kissed who first?
Clint: She did! I swear!
Audrey: He kissed me first! I swear! Who ya gonna believe???? :) *snicker snicker* It was really me..

#4 How long from the time you met until you were engaged? How long from the time of the engagement until the wedding?
Clint: 16 months until engagement. Yeah, I know... I took For evvvveeerrrrr. Engagement? 8 months.
Audrey: What he said... and yes he took forever!! We got engaged in February but I remember this one time the December before when he planned this whole trip to Park City and talked about how we were going to one of his favorite restaurants there.. I was SURE he would ask me then. I got all gussied up and pretty and he called me the morning of and said it was snowing up the canyon and we couldn't go. I was freaking out!! He had to have a back up plan right?!?! But no. I was pretty bummed.

#5 How did he propose? Did he pick out the ring or did you?
Clint: On the steps of the SLC temple! Nothing fancy, but I was pretty tricky about it, if I do say so myself! She picked out the ring, but after an incredibly long story that I refuse to share for fear of stroking out, I changed it to my own choice.
Audrey: SLC temple and the story about the ring is sooooooooooooooooooooo LOOOOOOOOOOOONG. Probably an entire story for a completely different and extremely long post. It's pretty funny though.

#6 Do you still like the ring?
Clint: I think it's awesome! She'll say it could be bigger though... :P
Audrey: ditto. :)

#7 Where was your wedding and reception?
Clint: We were sealed on October 14th, 2006 in the Mesa, AZ temple. The recemption was at a church in Peoria, AZ with a second reception 1 week later in Orem, UT.
Audrey: This was a boring question.

#8 Did you cry during the wedding?
Clint: FUNNY STORY!!!! The sealer was speaking to us about children as we were kneeling at the alter when I decided to squeeze her hand. (I was really looking forward to the baby making!). I managed to keep a straight face. She... did not! Everyone thought SHE was excited for the baby making! Dirty Audrey...
Audrey: HA!! That was funny... what can I say?? I have a good lookin' hubs! :)\

#9 What did you serve your guests at the wedding?
Clint: Produce! Thanks Blair!
Audrey: Exotics fruits and veggies.. a lot of which I had never heard of before.. and nuts and super yummy sweets!

#10 What was your favorite wedding gift?
Clint: Lingerie!!!
Audrey: The recipe book from my Grandma because it was full of super yummy things but mostly because she bought me all of the dry ingredients I would need to make ALL of the recipes!! She filled my pantry!!

:)

A Rube in the Kitchen

I'm a bit of a rube when it comes to cooking in the kitchen. I'd like to think I can cook... well. But it's not really true. I can make spaghetti and lasagna - no problem. Mac & Cheese - you bet! (especially with tuna and nacho cheese doritos - try it!) When it comes to something new and luxurious... I'm a rube!!!!! (that's my new fave word) Tonight, for example, I wanted to try out Megan's super delish Chicken Sundried Tomato Pasta. She brought dinner over for us when we brought Darbi home and we LOVED it. So me, trying to be a good wife in the kitchen, tried to make it tonight. EVERY SINGLE TIME I try something new in the kitchen, I mess something up majorly and Clint has to bail us out so dinner won't be disgusting.

Yes. I am ashamed of this.

So tonight. Clint boiled the chicken and the pasta so I could feed Darbi and I was going to take care of the rest. I started with the sauce and start to finish.. it was AWESOME. But stupid-brainless-Audrey forgot that I had to measure out 6 cups of farfalle pasta to be mixed with the sauce. Just FYI - we cooked about 12 cups of pasta!!! (I am SO DUMB!! I told Clint to cook both boxes.. soooo dumb) I poured the sauce over the pasta and while I'm mid-mix, Clint comes over to look at my beautiful dinner I made for him. I was feeling SO proud of myself... Clint reminded me of what I forgot and OF COURSE came to fix my mistake. I was so mad at myself!!!! I made sure to fix it by my stubborn self and of course it was yummy. At least Clint hasn't mentioned anything wrong with it.... yet.... :) Now I have 3 rubbermade tubs in my fridge FULL of pasta.


Anyone want to come over for dinner?? I'll feed you! :)

For the record though... I CAN bake... just not cook... really.... (and of course Clint will tell you otherwise.. LOL)

Rollerskating Commericals

Becky. This made. My. Night!!! This is the dang cutest commercial! It's been a while since I've seen it but it's so cute!!



One of my other all time favorite commercials.. oddly they both have roller skating in them. I'm a Roller Disco Diva at heart I think. :) Mostly what it's about is the song.. I love it!!



I really hate Diet Coke though... Really.

A Little Insight...

Into my husband in junior high... We got Clint's yearbooks from junior high from his mom tonight and I had a blast looking through them!!

What a ladies man. :) I'm sure glad he's mine!!

A Good Picture of DP

Sometimes it is so hard to get a good picture of her. She grabs at everything lately so this is me trying to get her to roll over/take a cute picture (which didn't really work).



Mmmm... Look at that cup of DP. Ohhhh. I need one. Right now. I love me some Dr. Pepper...


Still no picture of her rolling over.. but she still looks dang cute!

Sugar High

Darbi has a thing for cold frozen things lately and we couldn't resist... we are such bad parents! Maybe she's teething! :)

Before.. she's a little unsure.


After

HA!! Isn't that funny??? Oh man. We only gave her a taste. She wasn't really jacked up on sugar. That's funny though, right?? I really did take that picture after she had her taste though. It was just too perfect!

It's About Time

Darbi finally rolled over today!!! I didn't get a picture or video because I don't have my camera but hopefully soon. She went from her tummy to her back. We helped her out about 2-3 times and then just set her on her tummy and watched her. Like a pro, she rolled on over as though she'd been doing it forever! We were too excited to see if she could do it again but I'll try later tonight. The next time our OT comes out, I won't have to awkwardly tell her that Darbi still isn't doing all of the things she's supposed to.. I'll have some good news and she won't be silently accusing me of not working with her...

New Coat

Cutest puppy dog jacket ever!! I had to buy it!

No Oxygen, No Worries!

At her last Dr's appt, we decided to try and turn her oxygen down to 1/32 L and see how she does. So far she had done awesome and it's nice because it takes forever to empty a tank on such a low flow! It takes about 8 days to empty a "D" tank (it's about 2 1/2 feet tall and fit's in a little bag that is super easy to carry around). So we started a new tank last Wednesday. I went to change her tank this morning and the gauge said there was still 1300 psi left!!! Not right, I know!!! It should have all been gone!! I looked at the knob on the left which allows me to adjust the flow and it was turned to ZERO!! Because the psi was so high... she must not have been getting any oxygen for about 4 whole days!! She has been an angel too!!! So I know this makes me look like a bad Mom because I'm not super anal about checking her oxygen tank all the time but I honestly had no reason to worry! So we'll keep her on the oxygen because it can't hurt but it's extremely reassuring to know that she probablly doesn't need it.

9 Months!

She's good at:

- sticking all 10 fingers in her mouth
- sucking on all 3 of her cords at the same time while not strangling herself
- not rolling over
- not sitting up
- starting to kind of maybe sorta like tummy time.. I had her laughing on her tummy the other day!
- sticking her feet in her mouth
- laughing at Daddy all the time
- splashing all the water out of her tub during bath time
- wearing size 2 diapers
- eating 4-6 ounces during each bottle feeding
- breastfeeding with the shield (we're both a fan of it so I think it stays)
- kicking the blankets off her feet no matter how cold she is
- playing peek-a-boo with Daddy
- "singing" with her satin flower toy (it's so stinkin' cute.. I'll get it on video someday)
- pooping only once a week (thaaaaank goodness)
- wearing 0-3 month clothing still
- screaming when anyone other than Mom or Dad holds her (just a tad annoying)
- being super cute every other minute of the day!

Chubby Leg Gymnast

I can't get enough of those legs!! I love blowing raspberries on those bad boys! It drives her crazy!